What they do when you think they are sleeping

And yep, that's sharpie. Any ideas on how to get it off? Magic Eraser?

Jack-isms (and Sam-isms Too)

Jack says the funniest stuff these days. It is just because he is so grown up sounding. Oftentimes I will think I am going to write something on my blog that he says, but it just is not as funny if you cannot hear the WAY he says things. So matter-of-factly, as if he is the authority on all things.

He got moved to an advanced reading group, and as I have been sort of waiting for this, I was very curious about it. The only way to get any info from him is to ask VERY specific questions, which he loves.

So I was asking him all about it...

..."And then how do you go to your new library class?"

"Well, Mrs. Someone comes to our door, and says 'Jack and Camryn, right this way!' and then we stand up, holding hands, and walk to the library."

I mean, it is hard not to crack up and this stuff. You can just see the mental picture. As always, you are NOT allowed to laugh at anything he says or he gets deeply offended.

In the same conversation...

..."Do you know any of these other children in the class that come from the other Kindergarten classes?"

"Well, there are only six."

"Do you know them?"

"No"

"Are their any other boys in there?"

Long, pensive pause. You have to retain utter silence during these pauses or he once again gets angry.

"Well, mommy. I am not trying to tease about this. There is a boy in there but he really looks like a girl."

"Well, that is o.k. I realize you aren't trying to tease, and it is o.k. to say to your mommy, just try not to say it to him, though, because that would really hurt his feelings."

I mean, seriously? He is five! How does he come up with this stuff?

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Sam was taking a bath in 'Jack's bathtub' the other night, as opposed to ours, where he usually bathes. Reason being I was washing dishes and then I could still see him, but obviously not well enough. I walk back in there and water is all over the floor.

"Sam! Did you do this? Pouring water out of the bath is not nice! That is not for good boys, it is for bad boys!"

He jumps down, then dashes off and says "I a bad boy, mommy!"

Mary Had A Little Lamb

Jack had to memorize this poem for school. I think he has done a great job with it! He says "He doesn't want anyone to think his stuff is cute."

My little Mess

Yesterday, I took the boys to an ice-skating birthday party. Keith is working 70 hrs a week right now, so Sam had to come, and of course he had to SKATE too, like the big kids. So after all that fun, we are driving home, and I see some Mormon Missionaries outside in our cul-de-sac. I am obviously not in the mood to deal with them so I come in, shut the door, and tell Jack if anyone rings the doorbell we are not going to answer it.

After a few minutes, we are getting the kids in the bath, and of course the doorbell rings.

Jack is very excited about the prospect of ignoring it at first because we have never done that before.

"Be quiet!" I tell him.

"Momma, why? What do they want to do?"

"They want to tell us about Jesus, and mommy doesn't have the patience for that right now."

He sits there quietly for a few minutes, then says...

"Momma, can we PLEASE open it? I really don't know all that much ABOUT Jesus!"

Coming Right Up!

Sam is problematically cute these days, thus he can get away with almost anything. One of his favorite games is to pretend to sell you food. What I love about it is that he usually says, "Do you want i-creeeem?" and You have to say "Yes" and then he says "OK, coming right up!" It is so precious, I could die. He also says "Yes, sir" a lot and you can hear both in this video. The "Coming Right Up" is right at the beginning if you want to just watch for five seconds, which I would not blame you for at all.

Becoming A Person, not just a Kid

Jack has taken to a new form of interview. No longer does he want to just talk to me about whatever. As a matter of fact, he has never been one to tell you much about himself or what he thinks or what he has been doing. Suddenly, though, I have become very interesting to him, and it is a little disconcerting if you ask me.

Last night, we went to see a movie called Inglorious Basterds. He asks me what movie we are going to see. I tell him. We go. We return. We walk loops around the cul-de-sac.

"What happened in your movie, mommy?"

Ok, now, this is going to be hard to see where the problem lies unless you have seen the movie. But you've all seen SOME Quentin Tarantino movie, haven't you? Can you think of ANY scene from any of them that would be appropriate to relate to my five year old? I have already told him the inappropriate name for this movie. And I quite liked the movie, myself. But it is in all ways totally violent and nothing I can tell him about.

So, I tell him some part about a fire, some part about nicknames, some part about how the germans do the sign for three differently than Americans. He loves this and practices the three and says we can now go to Germany. Then he looks at me deeply and says, "Okay, mommy, just three more things about the movie. Please."

I am perplexed. Never has he cared so much about what I have to say, and I do want to indulge him, yet this topic is just SO wrong.

And then today, he had an 'incident' at school in which he got upset because he thought he was being punished for bad behavior when he was not. It was not a big deal at all, but he got upset, and so his teacher told me he was upset, and he heard her. We get into the car.

"I don't want to talk about that."

Well, ok. We drive.

"Please tell me some things. Not about when or why I was upset. Please tell me something else about you."

Now, this is even worse. What in the world am I going to tell him about what we did all day. Sam watched TV while I cleaned the house and surfed the internet? So I tell him about 18 kids and counting and something interesting that happened on that show, and how Sam took a long time to fall asleep, and when he asks me for one more thing, I tell him about a graduate school I read about on the internet. He seems satisfied enough. Then we walk in the door, and he says:

"Mommy, I see this laundry here. You did not tell me about this. You must have forgot."

These types of things don't last long with him. But, it does make me think that he is a big boy now capable of understanding big concepts. And worse, he LOVES to try to grasp these types of larger concepts. The problem is just, how will I keep coming up with stuff to tell him?

I think I am going to have to stay up late and look up stuff on howthingswork.com.

My "Official" Kindergartner

Jack came home with a sticker on that said he was an official Kindergartner, so I guess he is! He had a great first day of school. He was really excited when he woke up and he did great when I dropped him off. He was a little tentative, but he was sitting next to his good friend Abby from last year, so that made him feel much better! He took his lunch today (they eat at 10:30!) and had an afternoon snack. He said he even "fell asleep a little" during rest time.

When I picked him up he said he loved it and asked if he could "Please please please please go back to school tomorrow!" He also said Mrs. Zielke and Mrs. Keller were the best teachers ever in the whole wide world. I guess that is a rousing endorsement if there ever was one! I'm glad he likes it. Maybe I'll take some more pictures of him tomorrow in his PE uniform.