Who he is

Before I had kids, I was more of a believer in nurture. I sort of thought that kids turned out a certain way because of things that their parents did or did not do to make them that way. Now, I have to say that I think I believe mostly the opposite. Kids are who they are. Certainly, it seems, parenting can help or hurt. But I don't so much believe that I can make my kids into anything that they aren't already. And it isn't really my place. All I can do is to help them do the best with what they have.

Jack has always been what we consider to be strong-willed. But, he is also very bright and certainly very much in his own head. He will play by himself all day, happily, and never ask me to do something with him. He goes from building with blocks for an hour, to digging in the backyard, to art, to strumming on his fake guitar. He doesn't ever ask "What can I do?" or say "Mommy, I'm BOOOORED!" And this is the way he has always been. Even as a two year old, he would draw with crayons happily for an hour. I have friends that don't have kids like this, and have noticed and said we were lucky for it. And when I spend two hours cleaning and then look over and realize that he is still there and still doing the same activity that he was doing when I started, I even marvel at it myself. He is a chatterbox, but can sit quietly over a task for two hours, never speaking a word. This is remarkable at his age. I don't even do the same task well for two hours. So, I guess you have to take the challenges with the blessings, and realize that they are what they are, for better or for worse.

Summer is great, because it gives him this time to explore and do things his way. This whole single-minded focus is probably one of the reasons he is bright in the first place.

I think it is hard as a parent, or at least for me, to realize that I don't have as much control over him as I once thought I would. But also, it is a relief. He already is who he is. Thank heavens.